I love candy corn, I love those teeny, tiny, chocolate bars, and you could confine me to a diet of tootsie rolls and never hear a discouraging word. I love the fact that I’m all grown up now and no longer have to hide my “stash.” I do find it a little aggravating to have to unwrap every little piece of candy. I wonder if I am burning off enough calories unwrapping to make up for the calories of consuming.

It would be downright impossible not to over indulge this time of year on the “sweets.” You can’t get up and down an aisle at Wal-Mart without seeing them filling up every hole on the shelf with one variety or another. I’m not just talking about the assigned candy aisle either. If they sell out of Bounty paper towels you can bet there will be an industrial size bag of Snickers to fill the hole!

The greeters at Wal-Mart should pass out blinders to put on the kids when they come in. They should have a children’s play area like McDonald’s has right in the middle of the produce section. I would appreciate a soundproof children’s jail, somewhere in the far back of the store, for the little tykes who refuse to take no for an answer without loudly demanding almost child abusive discussions.

When I was growing up and my brother and I would accompany my mother to the grocery store. We would on the rare occasion scream like war painted savages for a penny for the gumball machine. Nowadays the gumball machines only take quarters, but you do get your money’s worth. Have you noticed the gumballs lately? They are the size of baseballs. I would be scared to death to allow any child of mine to attempt to eat one. In addition, to get the candy you don’t just put the quarter in a slot and hold your hand over the hole where it comes out - oh no. You drop the quarter into a funnel looking contraption, it goes around and around looking like the motorcycle daredevils we used to see at carnivals, and then finally it drops into a hole. Then you see your gumball dance down a maze looking thing and finally out it pops to your hand. Now that’s a lot of entertainment for a quarter.

I suppose now that Halloween is over the candy consumption will level off. There will be the annual rush to the orthodontists and such. Before you can turn around, they will be filling those holes on the shelves with Christmas wrapped bags of tootsie roll stocking stuffers! I’ll be right back.